Supertonic – You Wanted It… You Got It

Many years ago, my good friend Dr. Page Crow taught me how to make a homemade tonic which he dubbed “Supertonic.” He assured me that it would cure everything, put hair on my chest, make me grow taller, and make me better looking.

Of course, I’m exaggerating, but I was amazed at the wonderful taste and energizing feeling received from the small dropper of liquid that he had asked me to sample. Such an interesting mix of flavors and an explosion of sensation on the tongue. Dr. Crow explained that he had used this concoction as his own immune booster and energy restorer for years, and that it was quite simple to make. I knew I had to give it a go.

Since then, I make at least one batch per year and it has become our family’s number one absolute that we run to as soon as any of us first begins to feel a little down. You know the feeling… that first sensation in your brain where you ask yourself, “I wonder if I’m getting sick?” Whether you’re “getting sick” or just showing a normal response is for another post, but you know what I’m getting at. The power of this simple combination of herbs is, frankly, incredible. We use it for illness, colds/flu, sinus congestion, fatigue, headache, anxiety, as an energy boost,… you name it!

Recently, I have discovered hundreds of recipes similar to Dr. Crow’s “Secret Supertonic.” It seems I had made some assumptions about the origin and secrecy of this recipe that weren’t entirely accurate. In fact, I guess he never really claimed any secrecy at all and encouraged me to share it with others.

Therefore… even though I’ve found (and tried) other similar recipes, Dr. Crow’s has been, by far, the most effective and tasty. Each batch is different. Don’t worry about exact amounts of the different ingredients. In fact, you’ll have to adjust a little up or down based on your taste preferences. Too hot?… back off on the peppers. Flames shoot out of your nose?… back off on the horseradish. You get the idea. Also, the alcohol is not an absolute necessity, it just preserves the tonic longer. So, without further ado, I present Dr. Crow’s Magic Supertonic:

Start with five plants (herbs) and two liquids for extraction and preservation:

1. Cayenne Peppers – 6-8 peppers (habanero, hot red chili, jalapeno, etc.)
2. White Onion – 2 bulbs
3. Garlic – 6 whole bulbs (not cloves… the whole bulb!)
4. Horseradish – 1 full stalk (or fresh jar of grated if you don’t have industrial blender… fresh root will kill a normal blender!)
5. Ginger – 2 whole root stalks
6. Apple Cider Vinegar – 1-2 quart jug(s)
7. Vodka – 1 liter

Wash your produce and cut into thumb-sized chunks. You don’t have to peel the garlic, just bust the bulbs and separate the cloves. Put handfuls of produce in your blender then a 50-50 mix of the vinegar and vodka to cover the produce. Chop & blend this mixture into a mash then pour it off into a sun tea jar. Keep processing this way until all of your produce is chopped and blended. Pour it all into your sun tea jar. Store in a cool, dark place and shake this mixture up every day for 1-4 weeks (I usually go about two weeks). Then strain off the mash and plant material using cheesecloth, strainer, french press, etc. until you’re left with clear liquid with a little silt. Store your SuperTonic in glass jars and out of the sunlight (we’ve found it easiest to use glass dropper vials bought cheaply on Amazon). It does not need to be refrigerated (but can be if you like) and should stay good for a year or more. Keep out of the reach of children… but they love it, and it works just as well for them as it does for you!

Take a tablespoon of this herbal tonic, swish it around in your mouth, and swallow anytime you are feeling run down or just need a little “pick-me-up.” Or you can use it as a daily immune system booster by taking a tablespoon each morning. If you are getting that, “Uh oh, I’m getting sick feeling…,” you can take four or five tablespoons a day, or more. Remember it’s just food. SuperTonic works! Click Here for downloadable/printable pdf.

I’m still waiting for it to make me taller and better looking…

– Dr. Gray

Joe Montana and Joe the Plumber… What do they have in common?

Beyond the obvious of having the name “Joe,” what do Joe Montana and Joe the Plumber have in common?

Joe Montana is a retired world class athlete and is considered by many to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. Life as a pro athlete may seem all fun and games, but 95% of it is hard work. From high school, through his career at Notre Dame, 13 years with the San Francisco 49’ers, and two years with the Kansas City Chiefs, there were daily workouts and hard exertion. Think about that for a second. Most of the time, all we see of pro athletes is three hours of a game once or twice per week. We watch and are amazed at their ability and strength. My question to you is, “Why should we be so amazed?” Look at the amount of work and effort they put in day in and day out when the cameras aren’t running. They run, they stretch, they lift, they walk, they eat well, they drink tons of water, … they do whatever they can to play better and avoid injury. Of course their skills are more efficient and they have fewer injuries! However, for every Joe Montana, there are 100’s of others who are working just as hard without the fame, without the glory, and without the fat paycheck. Thousands of athletes around the world will never achieve the level of success or be as good as Joe Montana, but they’re willing to work every bit as hard for the same reasons… to play better and avoid injury.

Now, let’s look at Joe the Plumber. Honestly, I just chose that name because it was recognizable but I could just as easily said Scott the Carpenter, Mary the Warehouse Queen, or John the Baker. The point is that regardless of what profession we choose, there is hard work involved. Every day, we have responsibilities that require us to physically exert ourselves. Instead of throwing a football, maybe it’s swinging a hammer. Instead of catching a pass, maybe it’s lifting a box to that third shelf. Instead of running 50 yards, maybe you have to stand on your feet for eight hours. If you think about it, we’re all athletes. We’re all playing this game of life… are you playing to win? Are you willing to work as hard as you can to play better and avoid injury? Just like professional athletes, we must also consider proper diet, regular stretching, exercise, and practice. If we want to live successful lives, we must be willing to do what successful people do.

As a part of his regular health regimen, Joe Montana regularly visited his chiropractor. He was seen on live television getting an adjustment before one of his four Superbowl wins, and has publicly praised chiropractic for keeping him healthy and helping him recover from injuries faster. Tom Brady of the New England Patriots recently said, “Chiropractic just makes you feel so much better. When I walk out of the clinic, I feel like I’m about three inches taller and everything’s in place. And as long as I see the chiropractor, I feel like I’m one step ahead of the game.” Tiger Woods, Evander Holyfield, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Barry Bonds… all adamant that chiropractic is essential to optimal health and fitness.

If chiropractic can help the best of the best, think of how much more it can do for the rest of us.

– Dr. Gray

Back To SANITY!

Click Here For Details!!!

Back to school this… back to school that… go here… go there… buy these supplies… need new shoes… pants are too short this year… you want me to bring HOW MANY boxes of kleenex this year?… these markers are okay, those aren’t… of course, last year’s backpack just won’t do… AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sound familiar? Well, everybody else can help you with your mandatory “back to school” duties… we’re going to help in another way:

BACK TO SANITY! Now that the kids are in school, the shopping is (hopefully) done, and you can take a deep breath… it’s finally MOM TIME! Dads, too! Grandma & Grandpa count! In fact, we’re all included. Summer vacation has come to a close. Everyone is getting back in the groove, and it’s time to reward yourself for surviving another hectic year. From now through the end of September, purchase one massage and you can get  the second one of equal or lesser value for HALF PRICE! Get them for yourself, your loved ones, and co-workers… you deserve it! This applies to gift certificates, as well.

See you soon!

– Dr. Gray

A Brief Post on Alkaline Foods

Today we have another guest blog post. This article was submitted to us from an author named Christina Sanders. I’ve not been able to find much info about her, but the article was pretty well written. In my search, it looks like Ms. Sanders is most likely a student at BYU who likes food, boutique fashion, and obviously writing. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Some of you who follow health trends or diets may have heard of balancing the pH levels in your body by eating certain foods to improve health or energy. So what does this mean exactly? And is there any evidence that these foods improve health? This post explores both of these topics.

What is pH and how does it affect your health?

pH refers to the alkaline-acid balance in our bodies. When the pH levels in the body become unbalanced, either by becoming too acidic or too alkaline, the body removes the acidic tissue through its regulatory systems: respiration, excretion, digestion and cellular metabolism. If the alkaline-acid balance deviates too much, cells in the body can be poisoned by their own toxic waste and die. The body does not tolerate extended pH imbalances, so those with a pH imbalance tend to have less energy and may even get sick.

Though the topic is still debated, many believe that the foods we eat affect the pH balance in our bodies. Some diets, like the alkaline diet (www.proalkaline.com), encourage eating high alkaline foods 80 percent of the time and acidic foods no more than 20 percent of the time. Whether you’re interested in following a strict dieting plan or not, certain high-alkaline foods have been shown to have health benefits.

Foods to Try

The following foods are considered alkaline, meaning they increase the alkaline to acid ratio in your body. They also have proven health benefits.

Almonds

According to an article for the scientific journal, Metabolism, almonds can reduce cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. The study also found eating almonds may help type 2 diabetics by reducing the glycemic impact of carbohydrates to the body. On top of those benefits, almonds contain high amounts of protein without being acidic like many meats and dairy products.

Flax Seed Oil

While flax seed oil sounds like a strange health food, especially since many of us try to reduce our oil intake, flaxseed oil actually provides similar benefits to fish oil. Produced from the seeds of the flax plant, it contains omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown to reduce inflammation and prevent chronic illnesses, such as arthritis. According to an article from the University of Maryland Medical Center, flaxseed may be helpful in treating or preventing high cholesterol, heart disease and cancer.

Alfalfa Grass

Grass?….Gross! Don’t let the name be a turnoff for you. Alfalfa is a plant that originated in Asia, and you may have actually seen it before in the form of sprouts in your salad or sandwich. High in vitamins, as well as calcium, iron, potassium, and zinc, Alfalfa has anti-inflammatory properties, may help treat auto-immune disorders and protect against radiation damage.

A little about me:

Christina Sanders writes for several blogs and loves sharing information she has researched to help others live happy, healthy lives. As someone with two chronic illnesses, she strives to learn all she can to understand the body and stay healthy.

From Dr. Gray: As many of you have read from me before, I’m not totally sold on the idea of an “alkaline diet.” If all it took to make everything healthy were to increase the alkalinity of the food we were taking in, then all we would have to do is add a teaspoon of baking soda to our plates. Obviously, that is ridiculous. As usual, I will retain an open mind and will continue to read and research these interesting topics that our readers bring up. For now, know that it is balance and nutritional content that matters most in our diet.

Think of the Three Little Pigs… each spoonful of food you place in your mouth is either straw, wood, or bricks. With what do you want to build your home (your body)? Also, if you choose “bricks,” then keep in mind that bricks must include mortar, a good foundation, and careful application. We must choose those foods that supply our bodies’ the nutritional building blocks it needs to build a strong, long-lasting structure. The building blocks we choose also determine the supporting items that are necessary.

Anyway, thanks to Ms. Sanders for her post. We look forward to reading more from her in the future.

-Dr. Gray

Back To School…

August/September… Summer is winding down… We’re getting the kids back to school. We can learn a lot from our children…

They go through their summer, sleeping in until noon, only waking to grab the phone to see who’s text messages they’ve missed. Once they’ve replied and made potential plans for the coming evening of blissful lack of responsibility, they grab a bite to eat and flip on the tube or Facebook and “check in.” However, once school starts back up (perhaps with a little coaxing), they’re up at 6:00 AM fixing their hair, organizing the backpack, grabbing a bowl of cereal, and catching the bus or driving themselves to school. In short, once they recognize that it’s time to get the job done; once they are expected to be responsible; once they know there is no alternative… they just do it. They may not be happy about it. They may complain and rebel. They may resist… but, in large part, they do it. Decision made, this is what has to be done, let’s go.

Now… as an adult… who are you responsible to? Let’s put this in perspective.

How many of you know and acknowledge that “It’s time to quit smoking?” … “It’s time to start exercising?” … “It’s time to start taking care of myself?” But who is there to kick your lazy butt into gear? The answer is: YOU. We teach our kids that we all have responsibilities, and when it needs to be done, you just do it. We EXPECT them to honor their responsibilities and do their chores. There are consequences if they don’t… but, do we hold ourselves to the same level of accountability? If you demand that your student get up and go to school, but continue with habits that you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing, then you’re a hypocrite. How can you expect to hold their respect, if you won’t practice what you preach? What kind of lesson are you teaching them; or, example are you setting if you tell them one thing then do another?

Let’s take this time to show our children what it really means to be responsible. Let’s make the decision that the time is now to “get it done.” No more “New Year’s Resolutions…” no more, I’ll quit ____ once I turn 40… 50… etc.” Do it now.

We’re here to help. At Gray Chiropractic, we have three doctors and a massage therapist on staff to help you achieve your health care goals. Combined, all of our doctors have over 30 years of experience in dealing with sports injuries, addictions, painful conditions due to years of hard work, acute injuries, chronic pains, tendinitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, headaches, lower back pain, etc. We have helped patients from the grandmother struggling with duties at church to the infant with a bad case of colic. We’ve helped people quit smoking. We’ve helped people lose weight. We’ve relieved years of pain. Traditional chiropractic care, acupuncture, supplementation, nutritional counseling, strength and conditioning, rehabilitation, … you name it, and we can help you achieve your goals.

So… get off your ass and make an appointment with us today. Whether it’s a simple, tune-up adjustment, or a full nutritional work-up, you know it’s time to start leading by example. If you want your children to make smart health decisions, then you must show them how it’s done. Lead by example. Hold yourself accountable. Make the decision that there is no alternative… there are consequences if you don’t… and, get it done. Do the right thing.

– Dr. Gray

Can Stress or Emotions Cause Pain?

I received a great question from a patient recently: She had read somewhere that stress and emotions were the cause of back pain, and wondered if I agreed or if it was true. Here is the majority of my answer.

While not the only cause of pain, the relationship between mental/emotional complaints or stress and how they lead to various physical conditions has long been known. The technical term for it is “psychosomatic,” or “psychogenic,” and refers to physical complaints being caused by mental/emotional problems. As our world has gotten busier and busier, and we have gotten away from stress-reducing activities in our daily life, these psychosomatic conditions have become much more widespread. Unfortunately, addressing psychosomatic conditions is difficult for several reasons.

First, psychosomatic complaints can be varied in their expression. Some people experience headaches when stressed, while others will develop back pain. Still others will suffer from indigestion… or high blood pressure… or neuropathy… or constipation… panic attacks… etc. Because of this highly variable presentation, it is difficult to determine exactly when our conditions are psychogenic in nature or when there is a true underlying disease process. In addition, there are no real tests that can be performed or evaluated to definitively diagnose psychosomatic conditions. Therefore, we are often in a position where we must run a multitude of tests and evaluations to rule out more serious complications or underlying disease processes. When these tests, inevitably, show no evidence of other causes, by exclusion the only plausible remaining diagnosis is “psychosomatic.” However, the very process of so many tests, the costs associated with these tests, and the continual disappointment of another test without an answer… only adds to the stress that is ultimately the underlying cause!

Second, when we have confirmed that stress is either the primary underlying cause or just a complicating factor, it is extremely difficult to get patients to comply with our recommendations on how to reduce that stress. Regardless of whether a physician is involved or not, a person who recognizes that stress is the culprit will often be unwilling (or unable) to take the necessary steps to correct their situation. How many of us can change occupations at will? Which of us can rapidly make money problems disappear? Who among us chooses when to deal with a dying parent? Which of us set our own work hours? And on and on… However, there are a great many things that we can do, but are often unwilling. For example: How many of us turn the television off and read a book in the evening? How many of us go to bed early with some soft, soothing music? How many of us choose nutritious snacks instead of sugary, carbohydrate-rich junk? Who do you know that closes their eyes and rests for fifteen minutes at lunch instead of checking in on Facebook? How many of us go for a walk in the evening instead of watching American Idol? Stress is largely a direct effect of the choices we make, our response to the consequences of those choices, and our willingness or ability to change those choices.

Third, our traditional Western medical system is not designed to properly address or correct psychosomatic conditions. If you look at the above complaints we noted above, think about how those conditions are primarily treated. Headache? Take Excedrin. Back pain? Take Alleve. Indigestion? Take Prevacid. High blood pressure? Take Toprol. Neuropathy? Take Gabapentin. Constipation? Take Maalox. Panic attacks? Take Prozac. Are you seeing the pattern here? And don’t blame this entirely on doctors or the pharmaceutical companies… Nearly every one of the conditions I’ve listed are lifestyle-related. In other words, choices the patient has made have led to the conditions with which they are suffering. By extension, patients demand and choose a treatment alternative that allows them to go on making the same ill-fated choices. Unfortunately, our Western medical system is largely geared towards symptom control… not dysfunction correction.

So, can mental or emotional stress cause pain? Absolutely. It can cause a great many things other than just pain, so it is important to make stress-reduction a regular part of your daily life.

Sports Injuries… Who Cares?

2008 Gold Medal winner Kerri Walsh supports her shoulder with kinesio taping.

Who cares??? Sounds a little crass, huh? Well, the answer is: YOU CARE!

Just as auto racing often leads to advancements and new technology in our personal cars, health care treatment for athletes often leads to new procedures for everyday complaints. There are a ton of treatments used commonly today that began as experimental methods designed to find anything that could keep an athlete on the field. One of the most striking and recent developments that comes to mind is “Kinesio Taping.” This new form of therapeutic taping uses a specialized elastic tape that allows the athlete to continue with free motion of the joints and muscles, while decreasing pain, healing time and risk of re-injury. It first gained widespread notoriety when Kerri Walsh took to the volleyball court during the summer Olympic Games in Beijing, 2008. Due to pain and prior injuries, who knows if Kerri could have taken gold that year if she hadn’t been able to support it with this new technology. Today, kinesio taping continues to be used with athletes around the world, but is becoming increasingly common in non-athlete musculoskeletal conditions also. A waitress with planter fascitis… a carpenter with tendonitis… a school teacher with lower back pain… You name it, and chances are there’s an application. (… and, yes, we are trained and use this procedure at Gray Chiropractic!)

A recent unique lower extremity study, the first ever to demonstrate preventive effects of chiropractic care, is the Hoskins and Pollard trial, in which adding chiropractic care to standard medical and physical therapy approaches dramatically decreased the number of leg injuries and missed games among Australian professional football players. This has widespread ramifications in the everyday workday world. If regular, even asymptomatic, chiropractic care reduced the number of injuries and games missed for professional athletes, then the same applies for working people. Regular chiropractic care, as a part of your overall health care plan, can reduce your chances for work-related injuries and reduce time missed from work.

Call our office today and schedule your appointment. As noted above, you don’t have to have “symptoms” or pain to benefit from chiropractic care. In fact, most of the time, the best time to take care of a problem is before it gets started!

– Dr. Gray

reference: Hoskins W, Pollard H. The effect of a sports chiropractic manual therapy intervention on the prevention of back pain, hamstring and lower limb injuries in semi-elite Australian Rules footballers: a randomized controlled trial. BMC Musculoskelet Disord.2010;11:64.

Taming Stress

Stress can be a killer – quite literally, research suggests, but it can also make your day-to-day existence miserable. Who wants to walk (or rush) around all day as the oppressive weight of stress takes its toll on your body and mind? Here are five simple strategies to help you deal with stress and get back on the road to health and wellness:

1. Walk it off. There are so many physical and mental health benefits to a good walk; when it comes to stress, it’s the perfect opportunity to relax, enjoy the outdoors and reduce your stress, either by forgetting about it for a while or having the chance to process it. In fact, in many cases stress isn’t caused by a particular situation, but by the sense that you can’t escape your situation – your too-loud, too-hectic, too-frantic, responsibility-filled day.

2. Talk about it. One of the things that makes stress so damaging is that we often keep it to ourselves. Sometimes talking about how stressed you are (and why) with someone else is exactly what’s needed to reduce it or at least understand it a little better – and that’s half the battle. Your significant other, a family member, a friend or even a co-worker might be just what you need to get your stress (and how it’s affecting you) out in the open. And once it’s out in the open, it’s easier to deal with.

3. Distract yourself. Stress doesn’t have nearly as much power over you if you’re not thinking about it. That can be a challenge, of course, especially when your every thought is focused on a particular stressor, but it’s worth trying something – anything – to take your mind off your stress. True distraction means doing something that forces you to discard your stress to the greatest extent possible – try a baseball game, a night at the movies (particularly pure action or comedy), or even a good book or board game at home. Anything that requires your mind to focus on something other than your stress.

4. Deal with it. How do we “deal” with stress? It can involve any of these suggestions, but there are definitely a whole bunch more. It boils down to a few simple rules: a) Recognize when you’re stressed; don’t ignore it or pretend you’re “fine.” b) Understand why you’re stressed; identify the source of the stress and think carefully about why it’s affecting you. c) Find a way to reduce the stress (or eliminate it entirely); if that’s not immediately possible, at least find a way to manage it so it doesn’t continue to build.

5. Find the positives. There’s a silver lining to every stressful situation or circumstance, whether it’s stress about your job or career, your relationship, your family life, your (lack of) free time, your finances or anything else. It might be difficult to see at first, but it’s definitely there. Think of stress as an opportunity to explore creative solutions that will not only ease your stress, but also reduce the chance it will return.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share this link,

Dr. Gray

How Many Chiropractors Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

So… how many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one… but it’ll take you 40 visits! Although comical, jokes like this come from a general basis of some perceived negative. Does it really take forty visits anytime you need chiropractic treatment? Of course not. However, there is another perception about chiropractic that contributes to the above joke: Once you start going to a chiropractor, you have to go forever.

Is that true? Do you have to go forever if you begin seeing a chiropractor? The answer, again, is of course not. I’ll be the first to admit that I understand the frustration with the concept of multiple visits associated with chiropractic treatment. The fact remains, though, that we can’t fix twenty years of abuse and neglect with one adjustment. The number of treatment visits that will be required for each individual case is dependent on many factors. An individual’s history of injuries, surgeries, sports, genetics, occupation, exercise, weight, diet, hobbies, etc. all play a role in the amount of treatment necessary. The length of time that a particular condition has been developing is also extremely important when trying to design a treatment plan. Every aspect plays a role in determining reasonable expectations for the amount of care necessary to optimize outcomes.

Perhaps more, but at least as, important than the above factors is: What are the patient’s goals? If all the patient wants is to “feel better,” then a couple appointments may be all that is necessary. But, keep in mind that how things feel is not always a good indicator of how things really are. Did you know that the most common first symptom of heart disease is… death? There are tons of people walking around with severe heart disease or cancer who have no symptoms and think they’re fine. In the same sense, your spine and nervous system has an inborn ability to adapt and compensate for dysfunction in an effort to decrease symptoms. Think about it… from the time we learn to walk, our parents teach us how to ignore pain. “Shake it off… be tough… work it out…” From nearly day one, we are taught to ignore our symptoms! The end result is that we ignore the warning signs that would allow us to fix a problem while it is small and easy. Ultimately, by the time the body has lost its ability to compensate any further, the patient enters my office and says, “I’ve only had this pain for three days.” Well, actually, you’ve had this dysfunction for much longer, but your body finally gave up three days ago.

If the patient’s goal is resolution or long-term improved health, then physical pain or symptoms are only a small part of our rationale for care. Obviously, our first goal of treatment will be to minimize and/or get rid of the pain. After that, we dig a little deeper to determine what led to the dysfunction in the first place. While continuing care and retraining the body to work and function differently than it has adapted to, we begin planning out any rehabilitative care or lifestyle changes that may be necessary. This could include regular stretching and/or exercise at home, dietary restrictions, supplements, physical therapy, ergonomic changes at work or home, etc. Beyond that, again, it depends on the patient’s goals. If you wish to keep your teeth and keep them healthy, you regularly brush, floss, use a mouth rinse, and visit the dentist a couple times per year regardless of symptoms. These visits are primarily check-ups so that the dentist can discover potential problems before they become big problems. A little cleaning, a good check-up, some advice on home care, and they can usually send you on your way. However, if you’ve not been taking care of your teeth, whether by the lack of maintenance or by abusing them with sugary foods, then the dentist may have some work to do. If you’re seeing him a couple times per year, then he can catch these problems early and there is much less treatment and cost involved. On the other hand, if you’ve neglected these problems for some time, the damage may be much worse, increasing the amount of treatment and cost involved with your dental care.

In the same fashion, if you wish to remain physically active with a healthy and strong body, you must regularly exercise, eat properly, reduce stress, get plenty of rest, and visit the chiropractor once in a while regardless of symptoms. The same examples from our dental analogy above apply here. If you’ve taken care of yourself, there is often very little for the chiropractor to do, but this gives an opportunity to catch problems before they escalate. If you’ve abused or neglected yourself, there is a good chance that your problems will involve more treatment and costs associated with your care. Either way, dental or chiropractic, you’re going to need us sooner or later. You can either take care of yourself and see the dentist regularly… or you can wait for your teeth to fall out. In the same sense, you can either take care of yourself and see the chiropractor regularly… or you can wait until you need surgery. – Dr. Gray

Pregnancy Causes Sex!!!

Yes. Announced recently by Trojan Research are new findings that, in fact, pregnancy causes sex. A sample of 3,000 pregnant women were interviewed and examined recently, and it was found that 97% admitted that, “Yes… by gosh, I have recently had sex!” The researchers have determined that with this new information, they can definitively say that pregnancy does indeed put individuals at more risk of experiencing sexual activity. ….

Sound ridiculous? Well apparently not if you’re a writer for BusinessWeek, the Telegraph (UK), or a commentator for MSNBC:

A new study out of the University of California – San Diego revealed that obese children were far more likely to have been infected with adenovirus 36 (AD36) than fit children. The immediate conclusion was made that the virus must be causing the obesity. BusinessWeek ran with a big headline, “Childhood Obesity Might Be Linked to Strain of Cold Virus.” Next, the Telegraph in the UK jumped in with: “Childhood cold virus could lead to development of obesity.” Not wanting to be left out, MSNBC rolled out this whopper: “Nothing to sneeze at: Common cold virus may make kids fat.”

I think it’s more likely the sex led to the pregnancy, don’t you? Obesity led to the insufficient immune response that allowed the virus to cause the symptoms of a cold. Think about it… With very few exceptions, obesity is almost entirely determined by food and exercise choices. Obese children are more likely to be living on junk food, which adds to the obesity and poor immune function. They are less likely to participate in outside play resulting in less sun exposure which, in turn, leads to Vitamin D deficiency and a weakened immune system. They are less likely to participate in regular, sustained physical activity which would help decrease their weight and increase the efficiency of their immune defenses. Any way you look at it, the lifestyle choices that have led to obesity are the same choices that have weakened the immune system to the point at which these kids are susceptible to the cold virus.

But, “Why?” you ask… “would the jump be made in the opposite direction?” What do we do when we’ve got a question around here, folks? Say it with me!… FOLLOW THE MONEY!!!!

If the virus causes obesity, we must all need a vaccine, right? If we can all be convinced that a virus causes obesity, they can roll out a new Anti-Obesity Vaccine that is so important for the kids. If you’re against it, you don’t care about the children. If you can’t afford it, the taxpayers should be responsible to make sure the children get what they need. However you look at it, Big Pharma is positioning themselves for an all-out blitz to make sure we all know about this crucial “need.” A guaranteed and mandated revenue stream… kinda sounds like the flu shots and the HPV vaccine, huh?

So now, we have a new excuse to play the victim card. It’s not your responsibility. It’s the virus that made you fat. If only you’ll just trust in Big Pharma, we’ll take good care of you. Research leader Dr Jeffrey Schwimmer said, “It is time that we moved away from assigning blame in favor of developing a level of understanding that will better support efforts at both prevention and treatment.” Translated, this statement from the study author essentially says, “Stop blaming people for their own behavior because food choice and exercise has nothing to do with obesity, and instead we need to be vaccinating children against obesity while calling it ‘treatment.'”

So… the next time your teenager comes home pregnant, make sure you rush to the doctor and get your Anti-Sex Vaccine,  because they are now at great risk of being exposed to sexual activity. If you don’t, you don’t care about your kids!

– Dr. Gray